NJ HOUSEWIFE

NJ HOUSEWIFE

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

Tis the season to hate going shopping, dread the highway traffic, be annoyed with school closings, wipe constant runny noses and tolerate the in-laws.  I’m a big scrooge right now.  BA HUM BUG!  I just want the holidays to be over so we can all get on with life.  I never used to feel this way.  It was all so exciting as a child.  I should really just grin and bear it all since Max is picking up on my bad attitude.  He keeps saying, “I want Christmas to go away!”  I asked him if he is excited for Santa to come and bring presents but he responds, “I already have enough toys.”  Of course, that all changes when we get to the toy store as he insists, “I changed my mind!”
     Everyday he tells me, “My favorite seasons are spring, summer and fall.” I completely agree! But then I try to remind him of fun in the snow.  But that’s all I got…Fun in the snow.  The worst part of winter for me is being cooped up inside with the boys, so I am trying to keep busy and stay out.  Of course everything is child oriented.  We go to the library for story time or music shows, the inside park and play so the kids can play with a plethora of toys while the mommy’s sit around and chat,  the mall, which I am sick of at the moment and then there’s the evenings where we are stuck in awaiting Jay’s therapy sessions.  They only last an hour but they throw off my whole outing pursuit. 
        By Max has transformed into a beast.   I know he is over tired from not having a nap.  At four, they usually cut out naps, but I can tell his body is desperate for one and his four year old mission in life is to fight nap time with a vengeance.  is my witching hour.  He runs around screaming and yelling, tries to pull his poor 2 year old brother around by his arms, terrorizes our tiny Chihuahua and is oblivious to anything I say or scream.  It’s like I’m stuck inside with a lunatic.  Therefore, I have been losing my mind by that point in the day.  My patients is wearing thin and I’ve been searching for advice from anyone.  I’ve tired everything; spankings, time outs, threatening to throw toys away, heart to heart talks, ignoring, keeping him busy with activities, movies, snack bribery, promises for something he desires.  You name it….I’ve tried it! 
            It has become a house hold in need of nanny 911.  I used to watch that show before I had my own children and found it very amusing.  I would laugh at those poor helpless parents being abused by obnoxious spoiled kids.  I had many answers (pre-kids) as to how I would discipline.  It all seemed so simple.  For example; if they scream that they don’t want to go to bed…Oh well! Lock them in their rooms and let them scream themselves to sleep.  Done!  Next issue please!  They won’t eat their food?  Oh well! They’ll eventually eat it when they are good and hungry and it’s the only food being offered.  Hunger strike over! Mommy wins again!  They’re having a tantrum?  Who cares! Let them roll around and wail…they’ll get it out of their systems!  Another problem solved!  I can’t believe these people really need Nanny 911 to save them.  Well, fast forward to about five years later and I am now one of those poor pathetic parents being abused by my first born. 

           There have been so many times Max has refused to sleep and the only answer left to us was to bring him into our bed.  This is horrible, because he tosses and turns and kicks us in the head.  We wind up with no sleep and he falls into the routine of yelling until my husband gives in and brings him back into our bed, once again.  As for the food fighting issue…that has been the hardest challenge of motherhood for me.  There is only a hand full of foods Max will eat and he will not touch anything else.  Even if I manage to get him to try something, he will gag until he is almost throwing up.  I tried my old disciplining philosophy of giving him nothing until he eats what I put in front of him but that leads to a cranky boy going to bed on an empty stomach (and he is so skinny to begin with that I just wind up feeling guilt). His pediatrician actually told me, “If he’ll only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then just give him the pb&j’s.”  That wasn’t the advice I was looking for.  I was certain that the Doctor would go with the old school way of thinking, “They will eat when they are hungry.  Just don’t give in by serving them what they want.”  But the doctor was basically stating, “Give in and give the boy what he loves, as long as it isn’t unhealthy and Peanut butter and Jelly is nutritional.”  My husband was witness to this advice, so I instantly lost that battle and just went with what I was told.  That was at age two.  Now, he’s four and he is still incredibly picky and demanding when it comes to food. 

     As for the tantrums, I had no idea that they would actually go right threw me and aggravate every nerve and bone in my body.  So much for ignoring that behavior!  I lose my cool right along with him and together we have a melt down.  I don’t scream and flail about like he does, but I hold it all inside and take it out on the hubby when he walks through the door five minutes late. 
            What goes around comes around!  And fate has shown me that we all need nanny 911.  No matter how tough, disciplined and strong you are….they will try to break you.  I’m not broken yet, but some days I feel like I lost the battle.  And winter only makes things worse.  Ok Santa!  Here it is….All I want for Christmas is…. Summer!

6 comments:

  1. Just wait until your kids get older! It get's even more...(I'm searching for the appropriate word, here...)UNFUN. Now we get complaints that "Susie's family" is going to Puerto Rico and "Jimmy's" going to Vale with his cousins. Nope. Not around here. That's what TV is for...they can watch these places on television without the hefty travel costs. But dang...wish we were going to Costa Rica for Christmas.

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  2. I have five children (grown now with their own kids) and I can relate to your stress. I'd say you need some Respite 911. Do you have a friend who could watch the kiddos for a couple of hours a week so you could get out of the house for a much needed "me" break? Even if you just sit in your car with a good book - alone - it will be a little recharge for your batteries. Please hear me when I say I know what you feel. I was there, too. I didn't take a break and I was nearly at the end of my rope. Literally. I loved my kids dearly, but I wasn't "mature" enough to handle all the stresses in my life and it all came crashing down on me. Not saying you aren't mature, just saying that's where I was.
    Find a way to take a break for yourself, or a date night with your hubby. It will make a world of difference and give you something to look forward to. Just a wee bit of advice from a seasoned Grandma.
    Hugs, GraceinAZ

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  3. Grace,
    You are completly correct in advising that I need a break. I tell my husband that everyday :). He gives me small breaks here and there, ie: date night, trips to a.c., etc. Looking forward to these little breaks certainly help. I wrote this blog about a year and a half ago and I must say that while the kids mature, everything gets better ie: tantrums, their fustration level, my fustration level, etc. I think I am going to like "the older years" a little better. My own mother enjoyed our teenaged years rather than the baby years and my mother in laws favorite was age 8-12. Looking back you just have to remind yourself "This too shall pass." and it doesn't hurt to write down all the memories :)

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  4. Found on Mommy Bloggers :)

    www.undecidedmama1329.com

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  5. New follower via book blogs, thought I would say hi! Trev @ trevsliteraryreview.blogspot.com

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  6. Hi, I am a new follower from MBC...love the looks of your blog! Cant wait to see more, I can completely relate to the stresses and I am a HUGE fan of Date Night....Please come visit me @ http://wts2011.blogspot.com/ and follow our journey!
    Thanks.
    Jo

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